I am grateful for my knowledge of eternal families, that if we are sealed together by the priesthood authority in a Holy Temple of our Heavenly Father, His house, that we can strive to be eternal families...that death is but a glimpse on the grander scheme of things. This knowlege alone gives me comfort that I will be able to see posterity from my family that have already passed on to the other side. I also long to see those people whose funeral I took part in. I long to see the mature stature of an infant whose funeral I played at, or our dear sweet cousin, Justin, all grown up, or the youthful beauty of my grandparents or the peaceful face of a young mother whose life was taken too early from this life leaving behind young children to long for her embrace and affection.
I am gratefyl for my gift of music. I love sharing it with others and watching them feel the calmness and peace that comes from beautiful music. There is no quicker way to feel the warmth of the Holy Ghost than through inspirational music. It's no wonder that people have an abundance of music at funerals. It sets the tone and adds love and bonds those who are in attendance together. The spirit testifies of our Heavenly Father's plan and all those who are in attendance partake.
It's been quite some time since I have played at a funeral. I had fogotten the tender feelings that exist until today. All the tender feelings that are felt at a funeral were renewed today as I got to learn about Bernice. I never met Bernice before. She was 95 years old and lived a wonderful life with the attitude of "enduring to the end with joy as your companion". Interestingly enough, she had a poodle she named Princess who has been her companion for many many years. Princess died of unknown causes 2 days after Bernice died. I tend to believe it's because she was broken-hearted. Bernice was so good to her, that cute Princess saw no reason to continue. For 45 minutes, I listened as Bernice's life was outlined and unveiled to the audience. Although most everyone there kenw her, but I didn't......until today. As I sat at that piano and accompanied the violinist, I could feel the gratitude of Bernice.....almost like she was thanking me for playing at funeral to bring closure and peace to her dear family she left behind. Before long, I felt like Bernice and I had been friends. If I had lived in Blackfoot, ID long enough to know her, I am CERTAIN we would have been friends. Her life was amazing and any words I write could do her no justice. Let's just say, she was truly one in a million. I hope one day I can be like Bernice!!
I cried as the spirit bore witness to me over and over again of the goodness of this woman. She had touched so many lives and yet the room wasn't full...but the hearts of those in attendance were. Being a part of Bernice's funeral gave me new perspective on life today. It helped me to see the end from the beginning and started me thinking where I am at in my own life. It has been said before that we should think of what we want said at our own funeral and live our lives backwards. Until today, I envisioned all my friends and collegues and family there and for whatever reason, I pictured friends reading words about me....until today! It hit me so sharp today that it's MY family...MY children and MY grandchildren that would be reading MY life history. It became so clear to me that the MOST important work I can do is that of being a successful wife and mother in my own home. As the years pass, my children will grow up.....I only have a short period of time with them to teach them and love them compared to the amount of time they will be spending outside my home.
What kinds of things do I want MY family to say? What can I do TODAY to be a better mother and wife to prepare MY children for their future homes? I started thinking of the "Am I's?"...Am I patient enough? Am I showing more love and less criticism? Am I preparing them to meet the challenges that surely this life will bring? Am I taking the time to tell them each individually I LOVE YOU? Am I teaching them to whistle while you work and to look for the needs of those around you? Am I teaching them compassion by giving them the benefit of the doubt? Am I freely forgiving so they can freely forgive others? Am I living what I believe so they have an example of how to establish their own solid foundation?
All these questions and more have flooded my mind. I have much work to do as a mother and feel so grateful for the words "I'm sorry" as on many occassions I have had to ask my children for their forgiveness.
Attending Bernice's funeral today gave me more determination to use this life, which is a probationary state (Alma 12:24) to be a better person. It starts in the walls of our own homes and is spread to those around us.
Today I will.....love more, compliment more, hug more, serve more, show more compassion, make better use of my time, and the fruits of my labor today will be seen in all my tomorrows!! Life is like a delicate flower being tossed in the wind. Although it might wilt and be carried away, the seeds that it spreads will far surpass today.
