As I was lost in my thoughts recently, it occured to me that I HAVE been going to school. In fact, before I was married, I was taking all the prerequisite classes for my major. After I got married, I continued to go to school. The classes were different, but I was still learning and being graded on my performance. Once I had children, my course of study was somewhat altered. However, I continued to go to school and to this day, I am still going to school.
What school am I attending? Why, it's Matriarch Univerisity! It's a University with a very unique and educational experience. My major is Motherhood. I started classes when I was very young. When I was 8 years old, I would wrap up my dolly and put her in the cradle. I would feed her and change her diaper and got to name her myself. I call this class Role Model 101 and my campus was my home. My instructor was my mother, grandmother, aunts, and other women whom I would emmulate. You were there too! Just on a different campus!
I remember one particular experience vividly! I wanted to wear a bra like my mom. Well, in Role Model 101, I learned that girls watch their mothers and do as they do. At 9 years old, I decided to wear one of my mothers' bras to school. I remember the morning clearly. I snuck her bra out of her room and put it on and stuffed it full of toilet paper. I even remember the shirt I wore. It was red and had cherries in the middle. I was so proud of myself that I was going to be just like my mom. As my older brother and I walked out the door to school, I proudly showed off my new chest. My brother was horrified and tried to get me to take it off. He was embarassed to walk with me. I didn't care. I just wanted to wear a bra like my mom. As we got to school, everyone was staring, and rightfully so! My chest was WAY out of proportion to the rest of my body. It never occured to me that I looked ridiculous! It never occured to me that people were probably laughing. Who thinks about that when they are 9? Thank goodness for the nuturing love of my 4th grade teacher who helped me understand the error of my ways. I realized I was going to have to give up the dream of wearing a bra until mother nature took it's natural course.
Although this experience is funny and brings outburts of laughter, I was just doing what I was taught in Role Model 101! Now, I am the instructor for this course. I have daughters who do as I do. They are watching every move I make, and are emmulating my words and actions. I have to ask myself often if I am a good instructor? Am I teaching them what they need to know to face life's challenges? Am I setting the proper example? Do I listen with an open heart? Am I helping them to pass the class so they can one day be good instructors themselves? All these and other questions are necessary to be a good instructor for Role Model 101!
Through the years, I have taken many classes at Matriarch University. Below are some of the classes I have taken. There are many I am currenly enrolled in because they are lifelong classes and what I am learning will takes years of experience through trial and error. Ultimately, the grade for these classes will not be known for quite some time. I can only hope that my instructor, Heavenly Father, will be well pleased with my work and that I will pass with flying colors.
Role Model 101- I have learned that this is the prerequisite class to all others. Where I was once a student, I am now the instructor. And, having a good instructor is crucial for students.
Cooking 101-I love to cook and this class came easy for me! I learned how to create meals, how to make a meal plan and shop accordingly. I learned how to blend flavors and make delicious food. I failed many food tests as some dishes didn't turn out so well, but you know what they say....Practice makes perfect! My homework was to cook for my friends, family and anyone who would let me. It's a great class and I really enjoyed it.
Organization 101- Early in my marriage, I decided it was important to be neat and tidy. In Role Model 101, my instructor taught me by example. She taught me that cleanliness was next to Godliness. I applied what I learned from that class to what I was learning in Organization 101. I learned that I felt better about myself when my home was clean. I learned how to schedule my laundry days, and learned quick tips to keeping a home clutter free. Don't get me wrong, there are many times where I have abandoned what I learned. Sometimes, life gets really busy and playing catch up is difficult. However, I do remember what I have been taught and can quickly get back on track.
Charity 101- It's a life long class with many labs I get to attend. Once you gain knowledge from class, you get to go to lab and practice what you have been taught. My lab has many people in it. They range from family to friends to neighbors to complete strangers. This class is constantly evolving and I am constantly changing as I attend. I am learning to be tolerant of others, to be sympathetic and compassionate. I am learning that true charity is a love of action. Charity is the pure love of Christ.
Flexibility 101- Since motherhood is my major, being flexibile is a class I needed to take. It's a class that requires me to use the skills I learned in Compassion 101. It sometimes requires me on a moments notice to change my schedule or be flexible with the direction my life is going. It requires me to be ready at any time to offer a hug or a kind word to my children or others. Flexibility is the name and changing is my game!
Humor 101-This is a required class for all those majoring in Motherhood. By taking this class, I am learning to find humor in life. It sure makes our experiences much more tolerable. Adversity is a part of our life. President Deiter F Uchtdorf said "It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop." (General Conference, April 2010). How do you react to life's experiences? Finding joy and humor is one way we can cope. At any given moment, motherhood is going surface a rainbow of emotions. We will experience emotions of joy, sorrow, frustration, excitement, undescribable love ( like the birth of a child), fear, worry, hope, peace, irritibility (and chocolate does wonders for this!), anger and everything in between. Learning to use humor to diffuse tough circumstances can prove to be an effective tool. Try it! It really works. I remember one particular experience I had with my third child. She is a firecracker! She is creative, witty and bold! She loves deep and is a very loyal friend and daughter. Well, she loves sugar wafers with the creme in the middle. The vanilla ones are her favorite. If it were up to her, she would eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We made a deal that she could have some after lunch for a treat. After her lunch one day, she asked me if she could wait out front for her brother to get home from school. I said yes and out the door she went. Several minutes went by and I realized that school wasn't going to end for over 2 hours! I went outside to check on her and found her sitting on the ledge of one of the windows with a whole bag of wafers. Her mouth was stuffed full and crumbs were all over her shirt as evidence that she indeed was eating these sugar wafers as fast as she could. I looked at her and said "What are you doing and where did you get those wafers?" Astonished and completely surprised to see me standing there, she put her hands on her hips and said "HOW DID THOSE COOKIES GET THERE?" Nevermind the fact that her mouth was stuffed full, and nevermind the fact that she had crumbs all over her shirt, and nevermind the fact that she had a whole bag of wafers sitting on her lap! She was in complete denial that she was eating these sugar wafers. I gave her a good scolding and without her watching, I had such a good chuckle. Some days if I don't use humor, I could very well have a good cry! I know you can relate. That's what so great about us women majoring in Motherhood. We can share together what we have learned for the good of us all!
Patience 101-This is an evolving class and takes practice every single day. It requires me to be understanding and flexible (something I learned in Flexibility 101) with my children and those around me. It requires me to forgive and do hard things. There is required homework every single day and sometimes I don't do a very good job on my homework. Thank goodness this is a life long class with a very patient instructor who knows me better than I know myself.
Prayer 101-This, too, is a life long course! One that requires me to be the initiator of many conversations. Through this course, I have learned so much about myself. This course has allowed me to become a partner with my instructor. I seem to have the same instructor for many of my courses. He understands the major of Motherhood. He has a deep love for all women and communicates to me when I am on my knees that He loves me and appreciates the hard work I put into my classes. Prayer 101 is one of those feel good courses. Every time I attend, I leave feeling stronger, and my desire to pay closer attention to my other classes increases.
Forgiveness 101-Many students taking this class have a rough time with this! It's not always easy to take this class. It's required and like many others, is a life-long one. Like Prayer 101, it requires me to be in constant communication with my instructor. He is very patient with me when I don't do so well on my homework. He teaches me to give others the benefit of the doubt. He helps me understand that with the help of His other teacher, my Savior, I can overcome my weaknesses. I have learned that this class is necessary for me to graduate and be like Him! We all have need to forgive and be forgiven. Through this wonderful process, we become closer to those we love. We learn not to judge, and to be tolerant of others and their weaknesses. I have learned that I don't have to grade other peoples tests! I get to cheer them on and help them do well!
Marriage 101-I love this class! This is a class I get to take with my husband. He has a major too. It's Fatherhood. With what he is learning, and what I am learning, our children get the best of both worlds. This class has high's and low's! This class requires knowledge from all my previous classes to make this one work. It requires humor and patience and flexibility and organization and prayer and forgiveness! It also requires creativity, committment, love, honesty,and trust! It requires constant communication and a desire to stick through the class even when times are tough. It's a beautiful class that can be wonderful if both husband and wife assume their proper roles. In the Family: A Proclamation to the World, the roles of parents are outlined in detail. This document along with many others is the core corriculum for this class. By strictlyl following it's guidelines, husband and wife will find joy in their journey together.
I know there are many other classes I have not even mentioned. I know there are ones like First Aid 101 and Music 101 and Religion 101 and Taxi Cab 101. The list for graduating goes on and on, but all classes are for our experience. There is no greater joy than having Motherhood as my major. At times, I feel like I am falling short in some of my classes. That's OK!...I .pick up myself up where I left off and practice again tomorrow. At times, I feel the beckoning call of the world to put my classes on hold and take a detour. At times, I feel like I am failing certain classes. It's during those times that I draw from the knowlege I have learned and try to be patient with myself. I have also felt the success of putting more time into them and seeing the outcome.
Motherhood is a sacred calling. Do not let thoughts of doubt and fear cloud your mind. Wipe them away and replace them with confidence and determination. Be strong and of courage. Be happy with who you are. Love yourself and the major of Motherhood that you have chosen. Celebrate the different classes that others around you are taking. Lift them and support them. Enjoy one big study group with others majoring in Motherhood or others interested in this major.
So, there you have it! This is the low down on the University I have been attending. I know that it isn't always the most popular major and doesn't always have the best pay, but it is worth all the time and effort I have put in.
2 comments:
Tammy, I love your blog! You are such a beautiful thoughtful writer!
Neat
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